My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
