how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
