I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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