Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
