While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
