know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
