i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
