GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
