okay pat passed out under dana's car
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
