why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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