dude i'm inner monologue high
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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