I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
