North Korea, Best Korea!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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