Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
