So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
