My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
