he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
