You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
