I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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