i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
