do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize