She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
