Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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