Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
