I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
