Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
