Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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