sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
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