quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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