eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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