p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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