I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
