I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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