I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
