Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Hippo gnu deer
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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