weddingsv make me drug and hornr
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
