So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
