i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
