Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
