Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
