When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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