Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
