I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
