All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
