is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
