just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
