There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
