there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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