can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
