He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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