I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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