Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
